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Each and every one of us, face both minor and major challenges in our lives. Some of us even face numerous challenges on a daily basis. We have two choices in how to deal with our challenges and situations that occur in our lives. 1. We can choose to deal with the situation in ways that allows us to see the challenge as an opportunity to grow and develop; one which helps us to become victorious and to move forward to create and live the life we want and to strive to be happy. 2. Or we can choose to allow our life events to defeat us where we may struggle to survive and live on a daily basis and where we repeatedly put up with our issues and the life we are living.
When we choose the latter option, we become so consumed with the situation that has occurred, whether it has happened due to our own doing, someone else's doing or through something that is beyond our control. We focus on the problem rather than finding a solution to the issue. We develop the habit of assigning negative meanings and outcomes to our situation and we create negative thoughts and words in our mind that cause us to feel un-resourceful, stressed, worried, anxious and even depressed.
The way we think about our life and the particular words we say to ourselves, then affects how we feel. Continually thinking of negative outcomes and using words that don't support or help us to better deal with our situation, act as a fuel resource to maintain the current level of stress, depression and anxiety experienced. Our level of suffering deepens. By repeatedly associating with these unproductive representations in our mind, we become habitual in the sense that we allow our mind to over and over portray images of what may happen, what we don't want or we repeatedly keep thinking of the situation that has occurred. We try to analyse why it has happened and begin the blame process. The more we permit our mind to connect with these images we start to become depressed, stressed and anxious because we portray these representations in our mind as large, blown up in size and of close distance which then intensifies, to a large degree, our feelings and emotions of worry, sadness, loneliness, frustration, fear etc. Our body and mind is then overcome with these feelings and emotions and the longer they linger on and the more we wallow in them, the greater our level of depression, anxiety and stress becomes and the more we blame our life's circumstances for our depression, anxiety and stress. We allow our emotions to rule us and thus they become our worst enemy. We are using the intelligence at our command to work ourselves into un-resourceful emotional states.
When a situation occurs, we can hold onto it, let it build up into resentment and allow hate and anger to destroy our emotional and physical health. If our level of depression, stress and anxiety is evident for a longer than normal period of time and they are not managed effectively, they can seriously jeopardize and negatively affect our health - physically, mentally and emotionally. We are at a high risk of developing disease and illness such as heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes, obesity, mental illness etc.
We leave ourselves at the mercy of outside events of which we may not have control, failing to take charge of our emotions over which we have all the control and relying instead on short term quick fixes such as medication, drugs, alcohol and overeating to then make us feel better and to escape the pain and frustration of our situation. We also believe and convince ourselves that our circumstance is beyond our control and we can't do anything to change it, when in fact, we can do many things to change any part of ourselves or our life.
You can change your depressive, anxious, stressful state immediately by focusing upon a solution. Our goal is to not ignore the problems of life, but to put ourselves in better mental and emotional states where we can not only come up with solutions but to act upon them. If you focus on what you can't control you will be disempowered. By changing focus you take control of your life by avoiding the problem state and immediately focusing on solutions. These new thinking patterns may make you so strong that what you once thought was a problem may disappear as you assume a new identity of an unstoppable and joyous human being. Stop evaluating and start doing. The same pattern of thinking that has gotten us to where we are will not get us to where we want to go. We need to take conscious control of our thoughts. The key is to change your state. To put yourself in a state that will allow you to get things done.
Most people who are experiencing depression have had many happy experiences in their lives. They don't represent these experiences to themselves in a bright, large associated way. They may represent happy times with images that are distant and far away in their mind. Some people take their happy experiences of the moment and push them far away so they seem like long ago and store their problems up close and large in their mind. People who feel depressed often have their brains filled to capacity with big, loud, close, heavy insistent images of the bad times and only thin grey wafers for the good times. The way to change isn't to wallow in the bad memories. It's to change the sub-modalities - the very structure of the memories themselves. Link what used to make you feel bad to new representations that make you feel like taking the challenges of life with vigor, humor, patience and strength.
It is so important to manage your emotions and to use them to help you begin the journey of overcoming depression, stress or anxiety. You can use your emotions as a guidepost for change and allow them to become your friend. The emotions that you are experiencing are trying to tell you that you must do something about the situation and work out in what ways you can make yourself feel better and happier. Use your emotions as a teacher and not an enemy and use it as an excuse to look at why you are affected in such a way. You can choose to hate or you can choose to heal. Ask yourself these three questions - "How can I use these emotions to help me progress in my life?", "What do I need to do right now to make things better?"and "Is my depression giving me the message that I need to take action and what do I really want to feel?".
To be able to change our situation we first need to accept that where we are now is our own sole responsibility. This is something that can take a long time to realize and actually do as many people believe that life's circumstances have caused their anxiety, depression and stress. We can easily and always blame events that happen in our life or people we have encountered as being the reason and cause for our plight. When we accept that we are responsible for what has happened to us and for where we are at in our life right now, we also accept that we have the power and self belief of being able to get us out of the situation and to free ourselves from a life of constant stress, depression and anxiety. In being able to accept that where you're at right now is your sole responsibility is so important in trying to beat anxiety, depression and stress. Initially, accepting it can seem overwhelming but it can be life changing and it will begin your journey of relief and change and allow you to take control of yourself and your life.
The next most important thing you can do is to say to yourself on a daily ongoing basis "I solely accept everything that has happened to me and for my life to be the way it is and regardless of what others have said or done or haven't done, I am fully responsible for where I am now and I will get myself out of it". In saying this to yourself every day, repeatedly, you will be empowered and begin to take control of the situation and you will remove the power force that external events and other people have over you and you will begin to believe what is possible. In being able to accept what has happened to you is not about blaming yourself for your problems. It is accepting responsibility and finding the power, courage and strength within yourself to change your life for the better. We all have a choice in life and the choices we make will ultimately determine the kind of life we will live and the kind of person we will become.
Decide today to make a firm decision to remove stress, depression and anxiety from your life. Say to yourself every day, repeatedly: "I will conquer stress/depression/anxiety. I will no longer accept these things. I will take the necessary action to beat them. I want them out of my life and I deserve to be free of them. For it is my life and I have every right to lead and follow a happy and good life ". In saying this to yourself repeatedly every day, you will control these problems, they won't control you. This is just one of the numerous actions you can take that will provide you with the skills and inner power to effectively diminish the torment that stress, depression and anxiety inflict upon you. When you take control, create that inner strength and follow through with the actions every day, the quality of your life and health will improve dramatically. In taking this step, you acknowledge that stress, depression and anxiety aren't problems that you have to live with and just accept as being a part of life. Instead, you have the power to overcome them. You also develop the realization that you deserve to live a happy and enjoyable life and that stress, depression and anxiety will not take that away from you. Indeed, you have a right to be happy and have the choice to no longer allow anything or anyone to take that away from you. You have the innate ability to be able to create the life that you want and to become the real person that you want to be.
There is a secret that is known throughout the world and which has been for years where the process used has helped millions of people around the world to change themselves or their lives for the better. The secret is "If you change your thoughts you will change your life".
The mind and how you use it can either destroy your life or empower you to act and take control and attract in your life the things you truly want. If you think negative thoughts and focus in your mind on the things you don't want or don't want to have happen in your life, your life will carry on in the same way and you will attract unwanted things. However, if you change your thoughts, you will change your life and you will emerge from a stressful, depressive, anxious state to one of a brighter and happier future.
Sue Shoesmith
http://depressionpanicandanxietyrelief.com
I am currently studying for a Certificate IV in Life Coaching and Small Business Management. I have an interest in wanting to be able to help individuals to be able to better deal with their challenges of life and the situations that arise and for them to be able to learn how to take control of their life and themselves so that they can be happy and healthy and to live a fulfilling and enjoyable life.
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